The Modern Life Mrs.


How to Feel Connected to Your Baby Before the Bump or Baby Kicks

Feeling connected to your baby before you get that lovely-lady-bump (cue Black Eyed Peas) can be a tricky and emotional time.

We KNOW we are pregnant. We feel queasy, tired, and all the other glorious first trimester symptoms––but we don’t see that perfect round bump and/or don’t feel any little kicks yet.

I have an anterior placenta, which means my placenta is acting as a barrier between my baby and my stomach. So feeling kicks and movement from the outside took a little longer than we hoped.

So how can YOU bond with your little one before things get kickin’ and bumpin’?

The Modern Life Mrs - Connecting to your unborn baby

Here are 10 tips that helped me build a relationship with my little guy during my first months of pregnancy…

Have REAL “conversations” with the baby

Don’t just say little phrases or cute things to the baby all the time (even though those are great too!). Try having real one sided conversations. Talk about the family and friends they will meet, the adventures you will take together to the park and the zoo, how you’re so excited for their first baby swim lessons, and what you are planning for their nursery.

Your baby CAN hear you during your pregnancy. I’ve done so much research on fetal development and a lot of what I’ve read said the baby will recognize your voice when out of the womb if you talk to the baby while they are in your belly––especially the further on you get into your pregnancy when they are more developed.

But until those little ears develop, do this for YOU!

Talking may feel weird at first, but hang in there! It gets easier.

Slow Dance “with” them

I’ve read that cradling your lower belly will simulate actual cradling for your little one in the womb.

Put on your favorite music and dance around holding and rubbing your belly. Again, it may feel weird at first, but once you just let go of that feeling it’s so much fun…and emotional!

Not going to lie, the first time I danced around with my little one in my belly I cried the whole time. #Hormones

Journal and Write Letters

This was the first thing I started doing when I found out I was pregnant, wrote letters and began to journal!

I wrote in a journal whenever I felt like something was changing with my body, emotions were all over, or things I just wanted to remember. I also wrote notes to the baby that are going in his memory box.

I’m OBSESSED with my Promptly Journal. You begin journaling the moment you find out you’re pregnant through your child’s 18th birthday and then you gift them the journal. Purchase one HERE!

Get an extra ultrasound

This was a BIG one for my hubs and I. Early on I was so afraid something was wrong with the baby and was in big need of reassurance. We found a local place called My First Peekaboo Ultrasound that provides ultrasounds for affordable prices. They have different packages you can choose from as well.

Some women aren’t comfortable with getting extra ultrasounds––and that’s fine––to each their own! I just know it gave me such a piece of mind and made me feel so connected to our son each time I heard his heartbeat and saw him wiggle around in my belly.

“Invite” the baby places

This is yet another thing that sounds weird but will continue to connect you and your baby!

Whenever I wake up I say good morning to my little peanut, then “invite” him to go with me to get some breakfast in the kitchen with the puppy.

Then when I run errands I say, “Let’s go run errands, just you and momma!”

It makes me feel amazing letting my baby know I WANT him to come along with me for everything.


I always feel connected to our son when I do things to prepare for his arrival.

Any time I organize things for the nursery, buy a new piece of clothing, plan the baby shower, or rearrange the house to accommodate him, I feel our bond growing.

Don’t call the baby “it”

I don’t know why, but I always felt really weird referring to the baby as an “it”.

If you don’t know the gender yet, try using terms like “baby” or “little one” or another fun nickname (we call our son Bubba a lot now!) It will humanize him/her and make it feel more real.

Stay up-to-date on baby growth

I always felt more connected to the baby when I could understand his growth pattern.

The Bump App and What to Expect App are my favorites!

They provide a detailed description each week on how the baby is developing and growing. The app also dives into your bodily changes and symptoms, which is also helpful.

My favorite part was The Bump App gives you a daily update on the size of your baby and compares it to every day things. For example, “Today your baby is now as tall as a Rubik’s Cube” or “Today your baby is the size of a macaroon.”

My husband always asks, “What is the size of our baby today?” I love that he is just as curious as I am!

Rub your bump, no matter how small!

I mentioned this above with the slow dancing, but keep touching your belly!

Rubbing my belly is super calming and grounding for me. When things get crazy and I get caught up in my own “stuff”––I slow down, lay down, and rub my belly. I’m instantly reminded of the bigger picture and feel bonded to him.

The most important thing is this little miracle inside of me. How can you NOT feel connected to that level of meaning? It’s so freaking beautiful!

Involve your significant other

I always feel connected to the baby when my husband takes time to talk with him before bed or when he gets home from the studio.

After a crazy day, it’s so nice laying down and listening to my hubby love on our little peanut.

It bonds us as a family and is a really special way to end or start the day.

And not going to lie, turns me on by how sweet and awesome of a dad he’s going to be!! Again..HORMONES!

WAIT! The conversation is just beginning! Make sure to follow along with me on Instagram where I share daily updates on my growing family. Make sure to say hello––I cannot WAIT to “meet” you!